my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
