11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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