Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
