I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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