My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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