Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
