oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
