I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
