Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
