Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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