you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Two words: blizzard sex
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
