I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
