Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
