I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
