You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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