I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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