At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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