possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
