yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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