Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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