I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
