She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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