Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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