I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
