I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
