My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
