its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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