Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
