ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
