I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Still dying that you shit outside
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
