I'm so fucking centered right now
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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