he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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