This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
