so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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