i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
