She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
