drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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