Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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