so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
