he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
