dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
