She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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