Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
