Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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