I hate all girls vehemently.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
