Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
NoShamevember. You game?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The Olympian is in my bed
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
