no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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