Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
