Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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