it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize