so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
