i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
