So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
