Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
