You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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