Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
