I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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