I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
