Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
