I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
