Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
