so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize