Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
