I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
